what is going on with my marriage?

[Drew Adair]

Im in Fort Eustis at AIT and my wife is in Fort Polk, LA. Ive been here for about two weeks now and my wife and I have only talked for maybe an 2 hours on the phone total. Its mostly fighting and arguing about dumb shit. Since I left, she has been going out after work almost every night and getting tanked and some peoples house ive never heard of until I left. She reasures me they are married and I trust her. The other night, she was late to work because she got drunk the night before and slept through the entire day. I told her maybe she should cut back and she told me to stop acting like her dad. She says its because she misses me and she hates spending time at home cuz im not there. She doesnt understand that Im away from her too and im not getting ****** up every night. I have only drank once. I told her she needs to find better things to keep her mind off it instead of drinking, she says it feels like im trying to control her. Ive felt like on top of dealing with everything with school, im trying to hold our marriage together. I txt her, I call her, I say i love you all the time to her. When I was home I did everything on top of being in the army. Is she just enjoying a free ride now that im out of the picture or is there something else going on here? I feel like there may be infidelity, cuz shes going to parties with no one I know, or have ever heard of. It just feels like I give and give and give and get nothing in return. Im sick of fighting and I want us to work out, but its like once I left, she started partying and living like she was single...
I forgot to mention that I will be gone until june
And she is a bartender. So when I say she goes out to drink at this house, she is doing it until roughly 8 in the morning. You would think being a bartender she wouldnt even want anything to do with it, or at least would want to relax. Unless something fucked up was happening

[Amber]

I think she is definitely taking advantage of the situation. Whether your husband is away or not, you should still act like you would if he was there with you. Because you are away does not equal "single life" for her. She is testing your trust and rebellious like a child would be when their parents go out of town. She needs to grow up and act more like a wife. She is going to try to turn it around and say you are being controlling and don't trust her etc, but that is just her way to justify what she is doing. Sounds like you have done everything you can do as a husband to make her feel loved, and she needs to do her part too. It is hard to have a conversation like this with someone over the phone, or over a text, but you need to continue to try and make her understand that it is not the way you want her living her life when you are apart. If you can email her and really be able to express your feelings without her cutting you off midstream, and have her really hear you out with everything you have to say, then that would be the best route to take. Don't make it out like you don't trust her, or you want her to sit home doing nothing, or that you think she has a drinking problem. lol Simply talk from your heart. Talk about how you feel about her and your marriage, and how it hurts you thinking of her out all the time doing things that make you uncomfortable. Ask her to stop for your marriage, not just for you.

[Trish]

You may not work this out until you talk face to face; there's obvious reasons why you should suspect things it's only been two weeks and she exhibits this type of behavior her character speaks for itself; I understand what it's like to give and give and give and get nothing but a bunch of hell in return. I would try in every way to work things out talk and pray at some point she may start to listen if not you will have to make some tough choices.