He loves me but he wants rship with other women?

[Chakra]

My husband has always been blunt and honest with me from the very beginning. We were best friends before we started a relationship, so naturally, he would tell me anything and everything, and we never hide stuff from each other.

I have always known that he is not a one woman kind of guy, and I thought I was ok with that cos like I said, we're not just husband and wife, but best friends. Recently he met someone in facebook, and I felt a bit of jealousy towards her. I don't know why, since they were having just friendly chats. He always leave his chat open so that I can read them if I want to and to prove that he's not hiding anything from me. One day I needed to use his computer to check on something, and I totally lost it when I saw their chat log. After all the tears and drama, we reconciled, and he 'reminded' me again that he likes to have r'ship with other women too besides me.

I'm completely shattered, even though he keeps telling me that I'm his No. 1. I feel that my status is shaky, I don't feel secured in this relationship anymore, although I love him with all my heart. I don't want a divorce, I really want this to work for us but I don't know what to do. You can't tell a person to go against their feelings, it's just not right, but I'm totally clueless right now. I feel like I should just let him go so that he can do whatever he loves doing, but he said he'd kill himself if I'm no longer there.

We've always joked about having sex with certain people. I know I'm not serious when I joke about it, but he's not. He's always playing with the idea and fantasizing it. Lately, when he joke about things like that, I get irritated or mad with him. I can love him one day, but despises him the next. What's going on here?

After what happened, he's questioning whether he should tell me anymore of his feelings and thoughts cos he doesn't want to see me cry or getting hurt anymore. I'm so stressed